The Queen of Broken Hearts
by The Storytellers
Summary: Relena Peacecraft has always wanted Heero Yuy and never hesitated in letting the world know. What happens when this love takes her too far?
1. Chapter 1

**The Queen of Broken Hearts**

Written by the Storytellers (Dennie-chan and Rachel-san)

**Disclaimer:** We, the Storytellers, did not write _A Midsummer's Night Dream_. William Shakespeare did, so he deserves all the props on that front. We also do not own Gundam Wing and all that, but we do have to warn you. We're freaking nuts.

I wouldn't read this if you are a Relena fan whose feelings get hurt easily.

If you're wondering what the hell is going on, don't worry. It gets better.

**Explanation of Other Characters**

**Crystilline "Crys" Yuy-Winner:** Heero's twin sister and Quatre's wife

**Kristana Winner: **Crys and Quatre's daughter

**Jessica, Danie, Moira-Selene, Gretchen, and Claudia-Michelle Thomas:** Sisters (Jessica is the oldest)

**Jennifer Dunne:** Cousin to the Thomas sisters

**Nicole Smith:** "Ghetto-fabulous" family friend of the Thomas family

**Benjamin Anderson-Lewis, Wayne Ferrell:** More family friends

**Chapter One**

_**It is a sunny day in Gracia with the T Squad, sans Cassandra, Jessica, Samantha, and Moira. The girls are shopping around for a present for Samantha's birthday, which is a few days away. They are basically walking around Gracia Park, hanging out.**_

**Jennifer:** It's a beautiful day isn't it?

**Danie:** Oh please. It's way too hot out here.

**Claudia:** Oh stop complaining. You can at least-- (Pauses in mock surprise.) Oh no, I forgot, you don't take your shirt off in public.

_(The other girls laugh. Danie glowers.) _

**Danie:** That was low, Claudia.

**Claudia:** I know. (Pats Danie on the shoulder.) I apologize.

**Danie:** I accept. No more nasty comments.

**Claudia:** Today at least.

**Gretchen:** You're bad.

**Claudia:** I know.

**Jennifer:** (Peering off into the distance) Hey...isn't that Quatre and them I see?

**Claudia:** Yeah...that sure is.

**Danie:** Wonder what they're doing.

**Jennifer:** Me too.

_(Pause.)_

**Danie and Jennifer:** Let's go see! (Walk off.)

**Gretchen:** Hey! Wait for me!

_(Claudia, Danie, Gretchen, and Jennifer walk up to the Winner family. They see that the other boys are also with them, and there is food around.)_

**Jennifer:** Hey--food!

**Heero:** Great, another bottomless pit is here.

**Crys:** (glares at him.) Heero! That's not nice!

**Heero:** (shrugs) That's why I said it.

**Crys:** (sighs) You're impossible...

**Claudia:** Hey guys! What's the occasion?

**Crys:** (smiles.) It's Quatre's birthday that's what.

**Quatre**: I told you I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, Crys.

**Crys:** Well maybe I want to celebrate the day my husband was born. So pipe down.

**Danie**: (Smiling) Oh hey--Happy Birthday Quatre.

**Duo: (**Eating cake) Coulda brought a present.

**Gretchen:** What?!

**Jennifer:** Hey--we didn't know! Otherwise we would have.

**Crys:** Quatre's always said he never really wants to celebrate it...

**Quatre:** And I don't.

**Crys:** But we're going to. Now quit being a whiner and enjoy the day, Quatre.

**Quatre:** (sighs) Alright, fine.

**Jennifer:** We're here! We can have fun! (Sits down next to Trowa.)

**Gretchen:** Yeah, I'm sure we can liven things up. (Sits in-between Duo and Trowa.)

**Claudia:** What is this--a bachelorette party?! (Sits next to Jennifer.)

_(The other girls joke around while Danie remains standing.)_

**Danie:** Um...where do I sit?

**Crys: **There's an extra seat next to Heero. You can sit there.

**Heero:** I'd rather not sit next to the mother of all annoyances thank you.

**Danie:** Excuse me? This coming from the King Jerk of Gracia Row?

**Claudia:** Cool it, Dans.

**Danie: **But--

**Gretchen:** Sit girl. No fighting--it's Quatre's birthday!

_(Danie grumbles and sits down next to Heero.)_

**Crys:** Thank you Gretchen. (smiles.) Now let's eat!

**Kristana:** Yay! Food! Me first! Me first!

**Crys: **Honey, daddy's first because it's his special day. You can go first when it's your birthday.

**Kristana:** (smiles.) Okay mommy!

**Jennifer:** Yeah...you gonna cut the cake?

**Claudia:** Stop salivating, Jen. That's improper. Besides, aren't you gonna share...? (Nudges her suggestively.)

**Jennifer:** (Blushing) Oh yeah...how're you, Trowa?

**Trowa:** I'm fine... what about you?

**Jennifer:** I'm cool.

**Danie:** Can we please stop the love connection?

**Jennifer:** Danie...

**Gretchen:** You know, Miss Daniella, you're gonna be in love like that someday.

**Danie:** There's as much probability in that as there is in Heero Yuy getting married.

_(Gretchen and Claudia share a glance.)_

**Heero:** I'm glad you think as much. I'd rather stay the way things are than be tied down to a woman.

**Wufei:** I would agree with that. Women are nothing but trouble.

**Danie:** Oh? And--

**Jennifer:** Quit it, Danie. The little ears.

_(Danie rolls her eyes and shuts up.)_

**Gretchen:** I don't see this getting any worse.

**Voice:** (From some ways off) Yoo-hoo! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERO!

_(Heero freezes.)_

**Heero:** Who the hell invited HER!!!!!!!?????? (Glaring at Duo.) If this is your idea of a sick joke I swear I'll--

**Duo:** Hey hey now! I didn't invite her! (Looks to T Squad suspiciously.) Is this YOUR idea of a sick joke?

**Danie:** (Sarcastically) No...my idea of a sick joke would be to see you and Heero naked.

_(Pause. Claudia, Gretchen, and Jennifer hold their mouths shut.)_

**Crys**: Danie!!! There are five-year-old ears around!

**Kristana: **Momma, what does she mean? Did she see Unkie Heero and Unkie Duo nakie?

**Crys:** (glares at Danie.) Now look at what you've done!

**Danie: **(Covering her mouth) Oops...sorry...

_(Before anything else can ensue, enter Relena and the other G-Girls, curious.)_

**Relena:** What's going on here?

**Hilde:** Looks like a party to me.

**Danie:** Gee, someone just graduated off the little short bus.

**Dorothy:** Oh yeah! Isn't it your birthday honey? Why didn't you tell me?

**Crys:** FIRST of all...

**Dorothy:** And why is SHE here?

**Crys:** Maybe because I'm his WIFE.

**Dorothy:** So?

**Danie:** That means he's hers. Translation: not yours, sista.

**Dorothy:** There is a little thing called a mistress you know.

**Quatre:** And I don't want one now go away!

**Dorothy:** You'll come around eventually.

**Danie:** Like a redwood.

**Jennifer:** (Getting off the subject) Um, so...

**Relena:** Look, I'm going to be honest--I am disappointed in you, Quatre, that you would leave us out of your birthday party.

**Claudia:** (Under her breath) Well, I'm going to be honest and say that he didn't want you here...

**Heero:** Because you're too annoying.

**Quatre:** My wife just surprised me I didn't know anything about this until she told me.

**Crys:** (To Relena and G girls.) Yeah and you're not invited now beat it!

**Relena:** How dare you speak to me like that?

**Danie:** She just opens her mouth and says it.

**Relena:** (Glaring at Danie) And just who are you to talk smart to me?! I am Relena--

**Danie:** Yeah, yeah, we know. Queen of the World--or FORMER Queen of the World. Yes--like we even CARE.

**Dorothy:** You should! Miss Relena is a saint!

**Heero**: Saint my ass. (To Relena.) Oh and if you ever speak to my sister like that again I'll kill you.

**Danie:** Smart man, he is.

**Claudia: **(In disbelief) And just a few minutes ago she was insulting him...

**Relena:** (Ignoring Claudia, going for Heero) But you love me!

**Heero:** You THINK I love you...If I had a choice between you and Crys. I'd pick Crys.

**Crys:** I don't know whether to be insulted or grateful you said that, Heero.

**Heero:** Be grateful.

**Danie:** Crys, Heero? Gee, you must like incest or something.

**Heero:** That's not what I meant and you now it. That's the sickest thing I've ever heard.

**Danie:** Sure, Heero...

**Gretchen:** She's his sister Danie.

**Danie:** Yeah, so. He coulda picked one of you or even me and it would have made more sense.

**Relena:** Yeah, right. Heero doesn't like you.

**Danie:** Maybe not, but he'd blow you up before he'd blow me up.

**Relena:** He wouldn't do that! He saved my life.

**Danie:** (Under her breath) Only to regret it later...

**Relena:** I don't see why you're so fascinated over him anyway. He likes me. End of story.

**Danie:** You mean, 'He's going to kill me. End of story.'

**Heero:** Relena would you just leave for god's sake?

**Relena:** Why should I?

**Gretchen:** It's not good to be in a place where you're not wanted.

**Hilde:** Hey...who ever said we weren't wanted?

**Danie:** Who DIDN'T say you weren't wanted?

**Crys:** I agree. You girls are nothing but nuisances to the guys.

**Relena:** (Huffily) Fine. But we WILL be back. (Leaves with G-Girls but not without glaring at Danie.)

**Danie:** She must not like me very much.

**Gretchen:** You are sitting by her "man." (Giggles with Claudia.)

**Danie:** Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry, MR. PEACECRAFT.

**Heero:** (death glare.) You're as good as dead.

**Crys:** Alright, calm down. No fighting.

**Heero:** Screw it. She's gone too damn far. I'm kicking her ass.

**Danie:** Bring it on, Yuy!

**Duo:** Can we please take World War III AWAY from the food?

**Jennifer:** I'm with you on that one.

**Danie:** (to Heero) Name the time and the place and I'll be there.

**Crys:** (stands between them.) You lay one punch on each other and you'll regret it.

**Kristana:** Momma, why are they fighting?

**Quatre:** (answers.) Because Danie and Uncle Heero are not the best of friends.

**Kristana:** (frowns.) Oh...

**Danie:** Friends?! When did that happen?

**Claudia**: When you fell on him some years ago...

**Danie:** CLAUDIA!!

**Claudia:** Well...

**Jennifer: **(Standing) I think we should go... (to Quatre) Um, Happy Birthday, Quatre.

**Quatre:** Thanks.

**Kristana:** (To Jennifer.) But I wanna play with you Auntie Jenny!

**Jennifer:** I can come over and play later. I'll even bring my toys!

**Kristana:** Alright! Bring them all Auntie Jenny!

**Jennifer:** I will!

**Claudia:** You're such a big kid, Jen.

**Jennifer: **Well, it's mighty fun being a big kid, you know.

**Claudia:** Whatever you say...


	2. Chapter 2

**The Queen of Broken Hearts**

Written by the Storytellers (Dennie-chan and Rachel-san)

**Disclaimer:** We, the Storytellers, did not write _A Midsummer's Night Dream_. William Shakespeare did, so he deserves all the props on that front. We also do not own Gundam Wing and all that, but we do have to warn you. We're freaking nuts.

I wouldn't read this if you are a Relena fan whose feelings get hurt easily.

If you're wondering what the hell is going on, don't worry. It gets better.

**Chapter Two**

_**Later. The Pendleton Auditorium, with the whole gang, sans Moira.**_

**Jessica:** Alright. What the hell is this? I sacrificed two hours of my life for this?!

**Jennifer:** It's for a good cause Jess.

**Jessica:** I guess children are a good cause.

**Crys:** Yeah.

**Wufei:** Can we get this over with already?

**Jessica: **Oh geez.

_(Before any fights can start, Moira comes in with a bald man holding a script.)_

**Moira:** Um, good evening you guys.

**Danie:** Mind telling us what's going on here?

**Moira:** Well, first off, I just want to let you guys know that our last play was a hit with the audience. They loved it.

**Heero:** You must be joking...the last one was a disaster.

**Ace:** Actually, it wasn't. It was the most crowded show the Pendleton Auditorium has seen since the fifties.

**Duo:** Gosh...

**Jessica:** So what does this mean?

**Moira:** Well, to follow in the wake of that success, we are planning to do another.

**Wufei:** Count me out of it.

**Heero:** That goes double for me.

**Moira:** Aw come on, you two.

**Jessica:** What play are we doing?

**Moira:** A Midsummer's Night Dream.

**Crys:** Oh I like that one!

**Heero:** That one's worse than the last one!

**Jennifer:** Agree to disagree...

**Moira:** Well, we wanted to do a comedy, and they didn't have much success with the others so we decided on this one.

**Danie**: Aw man...

**Wufei:** (crosses arms.) You can still count me out. I'm not going to do this.

**Moira:** Oh yes you are Wufei. You have to do it.

**Jessica:** Yeah, dammit, if I have to do it, you have to too.

**Wufei:** You can't make me.

**Crys:** We sure as hell can!

**Wufei:** (glares at Crys.) If you weren't Yuy's sister I would beat you right now.

**Crys:** (crosses arms.) Beat me and you're dead from two beatings...Heero AND Quatre.

**Wufei:** (shrugs) Whatever.

**Moira:** Alright now what we've got your consent--

_(Moira cannot finish because the door opens. The G-Girls walk in.)_

**Crys:** (sighs) Just when everything was going good...THEY had to show up...

**Relena:** Are we late for rehearsals?

**Ace:** (Disconcerted) Um...no...

**Moira:** Um, why don't you just take a seat here--

(Moira cannot finish because the girls rush to the seats. Relena sits by Heero, Hilde by Duo, Catherine by Trowa, Dorothy by Quatre, and Sally by Wufei. Moira sighs in disbelief.)

**Moira:** Um...

**Crys:** (pulls Dorothy out of her seat.) Stay away from my husband you tramp! (sits next to Quatre.)

_(Dorothy glares, then sits in a seat behind Quatre.)_

**Moira:** Um, alright. I guess we'll go on with rehearsals. (Looks on clipboard.) And we have...

**Relena:** (Standing) Before you finish, I would just like to nominate myself to play the lead.

**Hilde:** (Excitedly) I second it!

**Dorothy:** Me too! I want a part with Quatre!

**Crys:** (glaring at her.) Don't EVEN think about it...

**Quatre:** (To Crys.) Relax Crys. Remember you're still pregnant.

**Crys:** I may be pregnant but I'll still kick your ass Dorothy if you come near my husband! Got it?

**Dorothy:** Yeah whatever.

**Moira:** Um, let's see how things turn out, shall we?

**Relena:** Fine. (Sits down.)

**Moira:** (Under her breath) Oh geez... (Aloud) Um, I would like to see Danie reading the part of Helena, and Heero reading the part of Demetrius.

**Danie:** What?! With him?

**Heero:** Believe me the feeling is mutual.

**Danie:** I wouldn't talk, Spandex Boy.

**Relena:** Leave him alone!

**Danie:** Aw shut up. Don't let me get on you.

**Moira:** Can we please have peace?

**Danie:** Maybe.

**Moira:** Danie?! Or I'll make Relena read with Heero.

_(Relena brightens.)_

**Heero:** Hell no. Danie, you're reading. Deal with it.

**Danie:** Damn you, Heero. You can't make me.

**Heero:** I can and I will.

**Danie:** (Hands on hips) Try me, Yuy. Betcha you can't.

**Crys:** (slaps forehead.) Here we go again...just read the damn parts for crying out loud!

**Heero:** (ignoring Crys. To Danie. ) I bet you I can.

**Danie:** Fine. You're on. If you can't, I'm leaving and you can read with your lovely Relena.

**Crys:** Would you two cut it out and just read the damn scene!!!!

(They pause.)

**Moira:** Here are your scripts. Ace and I will make up the other parts. We're reading from Act IV, Scene I.

_(Danie and Heero take a moment to look at the script. Their eyes widen.)_

**Danie:** But--?!

**Ace:** Let's just proceed, shall we? (As Lysander) My lord, I shall reply amazedly, half sleep, half waking: but as yet, I swear, I cannot truly say how I came here; but, as I think,--for truly would I speak, and now do I bethink me, so it is--I came with Hermia hither: our intent was to be gone from Athens, where we might, without the peril of the Athenian law.

**Moira:** (As Egeus) Enough, enough, my lord; you have enough: I beg the law, the law, upon his head...you of your wife and me of my consent, of my consent that she should be your wife.

**Heero:** My lord, fair Helen told me of their stealth, Of this their purpose hither to this wood; And I in fury hither follow'd them, Fair Helena in fancy following me. But, my good lord, I wot not by what power,--But by some power it is,--my love to Hermia, melted as the snow, seems to me now As the remembrance of an idle gaud which in my childhood I did dote upon; And all the faith, the virtue of my heart, the object and the pleasure of mine eye, is only Helena.. (eyes script.) Now way in hell am I kissing her...

**Moira:** Kiss her.

**Danie:** He's not kissing me.

**Ace:** Kiss, dammit!

**Heero:** Go to hell. I AM NOT kissing her!

**Moira:** DO IT!!!

**Heero:** Give me ONE good reason why I should.

**Moira:** Because if you don't I'll tell everyone about the OTHER drunken Heero episode.

_(Pause.)_

**Heero:** (sighs) Fine! (Kisses Danie.) There, happy?

**Moira:** Oh no. We must make it better. Like you mean it!

**Heero:** (Glares at Moira.) That's all you get. You don't like it you can go to hell and stay there.

**Moira:** (Sighing) Fine. Let's go on.

**Moira:** (As Hermia) Methinks I see these things with parted eye, when every thing seems double.

**Danie:** So methinks: and I have found Demetrius like a jewel, mine own, and not mine own. (Pauses.)

**Moira:** Um, Danie?

**Danie:** What? We kiss AGAIN?

**Heero:** We'll just skip it. Easy as that.

**Moira:** Nope. Gotta do it. (To Danie) Kiss him.

**Danie:** WHAT?! You crazy!

**Moira:** Kiss him, Danie, or the whole world'll know about the THONGS.

_(Danie sighs heavily. She turns to Heero and kisses him. Silence again falls on the Auditorium.)_

**Ace:** Damn she's good.

**Heero:** (pushes Danie away.) That's it. I'm not reading anymore.

**Crys:** Aw come on Heero, you know you liked it.

**Heero:** I believe that MY business. Not yours.

**Crys:** Oh so you DID like it!

**Heero:** I did NOT! Now shut the hell up, I'm already in a bad mood don't make it worse.

**Moira:** Um, I think that's it for now...


	3. Chapter 3

**The Queen of Broken Hearts**

Written by the Storytellers (Dennie-chan and Rachel-san)

**Disclaimer:** We, the Storytellers, did not write _A Midsummer's Night Dream_. William Shakespeare did, so he deserves all the props on that front. We also do not own Gundam Wing and all that, but we do have to warn you. We're freaking nuts.

I wouldn't read this if you are a Relena fan whose feelings get hurt easily.

If you're wondering what the hell is going on, don't worry. It gets better.

**Chapter Three**

_**(Fifteen minutes later, after everyone has auditioned, Moira and Ace go off and pick the parts.)**_

**Gretchen:** So Danie...

**Danie:** Leave me alone, Gretchen.

**Gretchen:** Testy aren't we? Afraid you'll be Helena?

**Danie:** I won't be Helena--I'll be Hermia. I'm dark-haired.

**Gretchen:** So. You're tall--and a certain guy with the initials H.Y. likes blondes doesn't he?

_(Danie glowers then snickers.)_

**Heero:** That was not funny.

**Danie:** Oh, you don't like blondes, Heero?

**Heero:** That's none of your damn business.

**Danie:** Yeah, sure. I can see your blush.

**Gretchen:** I think the red flush you're referring to is from ANGER, Dans.

**Danie:** He's just mad cuz I know he likes Relena.

**Relena: **See, even the malnourished supermodel sees it!

**Heero:** (To Relena, glaring.) Get this straight. I literally HATE you. I wish you would crawl up in a hole and die then after I can burn your dead body and throw your ashes into the wind.

**Relena:** Well, you know what they say about the actions of someone that likes you...

**Danie:** Um, I don't think that's like. That's a threat, you ditz.

**Relena:** I am NOT a ditz.

**Danie:** How many l's are in gullible?

_(Relena tries to count as Moira and Ace come back.)_

**Jessica:** Well?

**Crys:** What parts do we have, Moira?

**Moira:** Here's how it goes: Theseus: Quatre Winner. Egeus: Doctor J. Lysander: Trowa Barton. Demetrius: Heero Yuy. (A few snickers.) Oberon: Wufei Chang. (A little more snickering.) Puck: Duo Maxwell. Bottom: Wayne Ferrell. Titania: Jessica Thomas. Hippoltya: Crys Yuy-Winner. Hermia: Jennifer Dunne. Helena: Danie Thomas. Peaseblossom: Rosa Taylor. Cobweb: Sarah Owens. Moth: Gretchen Thomas. Mustardseed: Kristana Winner. (Taking a breath) Philostrate: Shylene Owens. Quince: Brina. Snug: Nicole Smith. (Outright laughs.) Flute: Melanie Smith. Snout: Samantha Dunne. Starveling: Ampris Dreamcast.

_(Pause.)_

**Danie:** WHAT?!

**Gretchen:** Ha, ha. You're Helena!

**Danie:** No fcking way!

**Heero:** How the hell did I get Demetrius!?

**Moira:** Well, we liked the potential in the kissing scene...

**Heero:** (glaring.) I ought to strangle you...

**Moira:** Well, it was his idea, not mine...

**Ace:** Look, it's just acting. Off-stage you don't have to even like each other.

**Danie**: That's a relief.

**Ace:** If you say so... Also, Relena Peacecraft is Danie's understudy so if anything happens to Danie or Danie backs out...

**Heero:** (To Danie.) You had better not back out...

**Danie:** (Amused) Gee, I wonder how much money it would take me to back out...

**Heero:** You back out and I'll literally kill you.

**Dorothy:** What about Crys? She's too fat to be in the play!

**Crys:** (death glare to Dorothy.) Dorothy, I'm going to pluck those damn eyebrows so hard you'll be screaming for weeks...

**Quatre: **Calm down, Crys. I won't tell you again. (To Dorothy.) Crys will be fine, now shut up.

**Dorothy:** Quatre Winner! Did you just tell ME to shut up?

**Quatre:** Believe me, Miss Catalonia. If you don't get out of my face and if you insist on bothering my wife I will do much more than merely ask you to shut up...

**Dorothy:** You wouldn't hurt a lady!

**Quatre:** In this case I'll make an exception.

**Moira:** Alright, everyone. We'll make adjustments as they happen. As of now, our next rehearsal is two days from now, so read up so you'll be all fresh and ready.

**Danie:** I don't know, Mo. I might not be playing in this one. Maybe Miss Queenie will have her chance to shine. (Cackles with laughter.)

**Crys:** Danie! Come on, you can't make my brother go through THAT much torture!

**Danie:** Ah, I'll think about it. Only if your darling brother makes it worthwhile.

**Heero:** Oh I'll make it worth your while alright! If you don't back out I won't pump you full of lead!

**Danie:** (Pleasant expression fading) Whatever.

**Jennifer:** I hope we can get this whole thing over with before Heero kills Danie...

**Quatre:** Or before Danie kills Heero.

**Jennifer:** I think we'll see the first before we see the latter.

**Gretchen:** I hope not...


	4. Chapter 4

**The Queen of Broken Hearts **

Written by the Storytellers (Dennie-chan and Rachel-san)

**Disclaimer:** We, the Storytellers, did not write _A Midsummer's Night Dream_. William Shakespeare did, so he deserves all the props on that front. We also do not own Gundam Wing and all that, but we do have to warn you. We're freaking nuts.

I wouldn't read this if you are a Relena fan whose feelings get hurt easily.

If you're wondering what the hell is going on, don't worry. It gets better.

**Chapter Four**

**_(A few days later. Rehearsals are going strong. Everyone is doing well, and they have even run through the play once. But Moira is still unsatisfied.)_**

**Moira**: I don't know what it is, guys.

**Danie:** You're taking this too seriously, Mo.

**Moira:** Well, you try watching two lackluster people kiss! It's depressing!

**Jennifer:** I have to admit she's right, Danie, Heero.

**Heero:** Like anyone would WANT to kiss the thing!

**Danie:** Excuse me, fish lips, but you're not too appealing either.

_(Moira sighs and holds her head, on the verge of a major tension headache.)_

**Jennifer:** Well, the only way to get something perfect is with practice.

**Crys:** Jen's right, you two should practice kissing each other.

**Heero:** I'd rather die.

**Danie: **Ugh, don't even.

**Moira:** (Lifting her head) It's the best solution I've heard all day. (Points toward Green Room.) Go. Now.

**Heero:** You can't make me.

**Moira:** Gee...nice bottle of whiskey wasn't it...

**Heero:** Alright fine...

**Crys:** Blackmail always works.

**Heero:** (glares.) Shut up.

**Moira:** Alright you two. I expect this to be perfect by two-thirty. That's fifteen minutes.

**Danie:** Fifteen minutes too many, if you ask me.

**Jennifer:** Oh just go, Danie...

_(Danie sighs and leaves. Heero follows her slowly.)_

**Moira:** Now. Maybe we can--

_(Relena runs up.)_

**Relena:** Did Heero go?

**Crys:** Or not... (sighs) The headache of all headaches decided to show her face...

**Moira:** Heero and Danie are--

**Relena:** Um, never mind. Thanks. (Runs off.)

**Jennifer:** (Frowning) What the--?

**Quatre**: This spells disaster all over it...

**Crys:** How much are you willing to bet that Relena's going to blow her top off...(pause.) I want to see this!

**Jennifer:** Me too! Come on! (Goes with Crys to see.)

**Moira:** (Throwing up her hands in defeat) Alright. There goes rehearsal. (Turns to the seats.) Alright. NEXT!

_**(Meanwhile, with Danie and Heero.)**_

**Danie:** Alright Yuy, we've gotta do this or my sister'll kill me. Take a seat.

**Heero:** (sits down and crosses arms.) Yours and mine both. Let's just get this over with.

**Danie:** Fine. (Turns to him.) One question. Have you ever kissed anyone before?

**Heero:** Do I really have to answer that?

**Danie:** (Rolling her eyes) I can't help you if I don't know...

**Heero:** (stares at her.) Fine. No I haven't and if you tell anyone I'll murder you. Especially if you tell Duo. I'll never hear the end of it from him.

**Danie:** Fine, fine. Geez. (Goes serious.) I guess first of all...I should um...

**Heero:** (Eyes her.) You should what? Or do I even want to know?

**Danie: **I've got to teach you how to kiss.

**Heero:** And just how do you plan to do that?

**Danie:** Just listen and follow my instructions. (Pauses to look him in the eye.) Alright?

**Heero:** (looks away from her gaze.) Fine, whatever.

**Danie:** Alright listen. (Frowns.) Heero-- (Turns his head so that he's looking at her) you have to look at me to get this. First, you gotta close your eyes.

**Heero:** I don't trust you...I'd rather keep my eyes open.

**Danie:** (Sighing) You just have to. I'm not going to do anything Heero. I promise on a stack of back issues of Cosmo.

**Heero: (**eyes her for a moment.) Alright, but if anything happens you're as good as dead. (closes his eyes.)

**Danie:** Alright. Second, part your lips slightly.

_(Heero does so.)_

**Danie:** And breathe...

_(Danie leans in and kisses him. It lasts longer than it should. Danie breaks away first.)_

**Danie:** Um...that was...good (wipes her mouth) but I don't think it was convincing (clears throat) enough.

**Heero:** Just HOW convincing does it have to be!?

**Danie:** Sorry! You know how Moira is. Let's just do it one more time. (Gingerly) But this time...um...you...um...kiss...me...

**Heero:** Fine, just to get this over with. It doesn't have to mean anything.

_(Heero leans in and gives her an earth-shattering kiss. He ends it and stands.)_

**Heero:** Is that convincing enough?

_(Danie cannot speak.)_

**Heero:** I'll take that as a yes. Can I leave now?

_(Danie nods wordlessly as Relena comes in.)_

**Relena:** And what were you two doing?

**Heero:** Just practicing that stupid kiss. Now go away. I don't feel like hearing your annoying voice.

**Relena:** Ugh! How dare you!

**Danie:** Just shut up, Relena. (Walks out.)

**Relena:** What's her problem? (Glares at Heero.) You really kissed her didn't you?

**Heero:** What's it to you? I'm not one of your possessions. Besides it was merely for the damn play.

_(As Heero walks out, she glares suspiciously at his retreating back. Dorothy comes in.)_

**Dorothy:** What happened Miss Relena? Did the bitch mess with your Heero again?

**Relena:** They were kissing...She kissed him--and he kissed her back. (Glowers.) She should pay. They ALL should pay. Heero Yuy should be mine...

**Dorothy:** I hear you on that. Those brats destroyed not only your life, but mine as well! I was supposed to be Mrs. Quatre Winner! Not that slut!

**Relena:** I agree. (Pensively) We should find a way to make them pay.

**Dorothy:** Hey, maybe if we blackmail Danie into backing out you could be the one to kiss Heero!

**Relena:** Well...that DOES sound like a good idea... (Shrugs.) But there seems to be nothing on her, as slutty as she is.

**Dorothy:** We all have secrets Miss Relena. She is no different. I'm sure she's hiding something REALLY good.

**Relena:** Let's hope so. You can get on that, Dorothy.

**Dorothy:** I would be happy to! Discovering secrets is one of my many talents.

**Relena:** Good...

_(Ace walks up.)_

**Ace:** Good afternoon ladies. Enjoying rehearsal?

**Relena:** Hardly.

**Relena:** It's not any fun being Danie Thomas's understudy.

**Ace:** Well, life isn't fun. I almost had you as Crys Winner's understudy but I think she'll last until opening night.

**Dorothy:** If she doesn't I would be happy to take the part!

**Ace:** Well, I don't know Miss Catalonia.

**Dorothy:** Oh come on! She needs an understudy!

**Ace:** (Sighing) Look, if you want to deal with that, talk to Moira. She's handling all the casting.

**Dorothy: I** think I just might do that!

**Ace:** (Going back to his notes) Alright Miss Catalonia. Have a nice evening. (Walks away.)

**Relena:** (Expectantly) Well...

**Dorothy:** I'll get that part, and we'll make sure you get Danie's part. Then we both will be happy with our men!

**Relena:** Yes... (Smiles.) And we'll get our kisses back from those sluts.

**Dorothy:** You better believe it! Now let's get started with the plan!

**Relena:** Oh let's! (Pushes her gently along.) Now go talk to Moira!

**Dorothy:** Yeah! That's the first thing on the list of things to do.

_(Dorothy, without Relena watching outright, goes up to Moira. She is talking to Jessica and Wufei about a scene.)_

**Moira:** And--

**Dorothy:** Moira, I would like to be Crys Winner's understudy.

**Moira:** (Confused) Huh, what? Um, can you wait a moment?

**Dorothy:** No I can't. I would like to be Crys Winner's understudy. She needs one anyway.

**Wufei:** Woman she was talking to us. You can wait.

**Dorothy:** No.

**Moira:** Dorothy, please? This is important.

**Dorothy:** This is equally important. Just give me the understudy role and I'll leave you alone.

**Moira:** Look, I think Crystilline can handle it on her own.

**Dorothy:** Oh yeah? It's OBVIOUS how far along she is! What if she suddenly popped?

**Moira:** Well...we'll take care of it. Dorothy, I don't know if you have the dynamic to play Hippolyta. Understand?

**Dorothy:** I do too!

**Wufei:** Oh for crying out loud just give her the damn understudy so she'll shut up!

**Moira:** I can't. It won't work well for the play. I picked Crys because of her personality and, well, you two are quite different. I don't know if it would work.

**Wufei:** More than likely Winner will be just fine. Just give it to her or she'll never go away!

**Dorothy**: I'm glad Wufei agrees...

**Wufei:** I didn't agree to anything! I just want you to shut up and leave!

**Moira:** Look, Dorothy, my answer is no. (Turns back to Jessica and Wufei.)

**Jessica:** (Warningly) And you'd better go too.

**Dorothy:** You'll be sorry! (walks over to Relena.) I can't believe her! She refused to give me the understudy role!

**Relena:** She what?! (Glowers.) No wonder...she's related to that Danie...

**Dorothy: **We'll just have to bring her down too.

**Relena:** And I know just the thing...

**Dorothy: **Then let's get stage two of the plan in action!

**Relena:** Yes...a little slashing of brake cables...

**Dorothy:** Miss Relena, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship...

**Relena:** Start? I'd say the continuation.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Queen of Broken Hearts**

Written by the Storytellers (Dennie-chan and Rachel-san)

**Disclaimer:** We, the Storytellers, did not write _A Midsummer's Night Dream_. William Shakespeare did, so he deserves all the props on that front. We also do not own Gundam Wing and all that, but we do have to warn you. We're freaking nuts.

I wouldn't read this if you are a Relena fan whose feelings get hurt easily.

If you're wondering what the hell is going on, don't worry. It gets better.

**Chapter Five**

_**(Some minutes later.)**_

**Danie**: Mo?

**Moira:** What's up?

**Danie:** I've got to run down home and pick up something and my car won't start.

**Moira:** What's wrong?

**Danie:** Don't know. Might get Duo to check it out. Do you mind--?

**Moira:** Of course not. Just bring it back safely.

**Danie:** I promise!

(Danie smiles as Moira gives her the keys. Moira has a bad feeling but pushes it aside.)

With Danie in Moira's car. She's having a good time singing along with the radio. She's been driving on side roads without having to push the brakes.

**Danie:** (Singing) _Ladies leave your man at home..._

_(Danie pulls onto a street where there's a stop sign. She pushes the brakes and panics when it doesn't work. Meanwhile, Duo and Heero, in Heero's Camaro...)_

**Duo:** What the heck was that?

**Heero: **It looked like a runaway car.

**Duo:** Runaway car? (Laughs.) That looks like... (Smile fades.) Oh damn... Heero--we gotta follow that car. That was Moira's car!

_(Heero nods and follows the car. Duo glances at the speedometer.)_

**Duo:** Dude...she's going about ninety, that's not good...

**Heero:** We'll have to cut her off before we get into any heavy traffic.

**Duo:** Otherwise...

_(Heero speeds up and gets behind the car.)_

**Duo:** Hey...there's something wrong here...

**Heero:** It's obvious...the brakes don't work. If they it would have stopped in a heartbeat.

**Duo:** No...that's not it. That's not Moira--it's freaking Danie!

**Heero:** What the hell is Danie doing in Moira's car!?

**Duo:** I don't know!

_(Heero speeds up and gets beside the car.)_

**Duo:** Danie! DANIE!!!

_(Danie frowns. Then she looks over. She's been crying.)_

**Duo:** The poor thing! We've got to help her.

**Heero:** Duo, take the wheel.

**Duo:** Huh…Heero! What the HELL are you doing?!

_(Heero stands then jumps to the other car. He pushes Danie aside and turns the wheel to a tree. He covers Danie with his body and takes most of the hit when the car crashes. Danie screams in fear. When the impact stops, Danie and Heero roll over away from each other.)_

**Danie:** Whoa...Heero... (Leans over to the driver's side.) Heero!

**Heero:** I'm fine. I've been through worse things than a car wreck.

_(Heero kicks open the car door and tries to get out, but winces. Blood has seeped through his shirt near his arm and on his chest.)_

**Danie:** Wait--stop trying to be Superman. (Gets out on the passenger side and walks over to the driver's side door.) Let me help you. (Looks into his eyes.) Please.

**Heero:** I don't need help. Just leave me alone.

**Danie:** (Tears filling her eyes) Yes you do...you saved my life Heero...please!

**Heero:** Fine do whatever.

_(Danie gingerly helps him out of the car. She brings him over to the grass just as Duo comes running up.)_

**Duo:** Whoa...man...you alright?

**Danie: **He'll be fine... (Slowly peels off his shirt.)

**Heero:** (glares at her.) I didn't say you could undress me.

**Danie:** You're bleeding, dammit! Now be quiet!

_(Danie opens his shirt.)_

**Danie:** Duo? There's a first aid kit in Mo's trunk. Could you get it for me?

(Duo, amazed, nods, and gets it. He hands it to Danie and Danie gets out alcohol and bandages.)

**Danie:** (After putting alcohol on a swab) Alright. Sit tight. This is going to sting. (Dabs gingerly at Heero's wounds.)

_(Heero flinches but tries not to show it.)_

**Danie:** Hey you, stop trying to be a tough guy. (Dresses the wounds.) You'll be alright.

**Heero:** I already told you that. You didn't need to do anything.

**Danie:** Yes I do. You saved me, Heero.

**Heero:** Only because we need a Helena. Next time get in a car with brakes.

**Danie:** It was more than that, Heero. You just don't go around do that to people unless...

**Heero: (**glares at her.) Unless what? Look, you're just a friend to my sister and I don't want Crys to be depressed if you died...especially since she's nine months pregnant.

**Danie:** (Carefully) I don't think that's all, Heero.

(Duo looks back and forth between them not saying anything.)

**Danie:** But if you insist on being so stubborn, then I'll go on my merry little way. (Turns to leave.)

_(Heero puts his shirt back on and stands.)_

**Heero:** We should call Moira about her car.

**Duo:** Yeah... (Frowns at him.) Heero?

**Heero:** Just drop it.

**Duo:** You like her don't you?

**Heero:** If I did or didn't you wouldn't know. That's my business.

**Duo: **Heero look...

**Heero:** (stares at him.) I said DROP IT.

_(Duo shakes his head and walks off. Danie comes back.)_

**Danie:** I just called Moira. She's on her way. (Looks at Heero but doesn't say anything.)

**Heero:** What?

**Duo:** Are you alright?

**Danie:** I'm just a little dizzy...

**Heero:** You would...you were just in a car wreck.

**Danie:** (Heatedly) Have a little pity, dammit! (Keels over in a dizzy spell.)

_(Heero shakes his head. Without saying a word he picks her up and carries her to his car. He places her in the back seat and gets into the driver's seat.)_

**Heero:** Duo, are you coming or are you just going to stand there?

**Duo:** Alright, man! Coming!


End file.
